I'm speechless.

but I heard this song on the radio today and I just can't stop thinking about it. It is by Francesca Battestelli (whom I'd never heard before) but I'm obsessed...so read (download on iTunes to hear)

Hold on now, I gotta take a deep breath
I don`t know what to say when I look in your eyes
You made the world before I was born
Here I am holding you in my arms tonight
Noel, noel, Jesus our Emmanuel

You`re here, I`m holding you so near
I`m starring into the face of my savior, king and creator
you could`ve left us on our own, but you`re here
don`t know how long I`m gonna have you for
But I`ll be watching when you change the world
I Look at your hand, they`re still so small
Someday you`re going to stretch them out and save us all
Noel, noel, God with us Emmanuel

You`re here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
They could`ve left us on our own, but you`re here you`re here
someday i`m gonna look back on this
The night that god became a baby boy
Someday you're gonna go home again,
But you leave your spirit and flood the world with joy

You`d be here, i`m holding you so near
I`m staring into the face of my savior, king and creator
They could`ve left me on my own, but you`re here you`re here
Hallelujah you`re here hallelujah
You`re here 

As a Mom I cannot fathom the responsibility of birthing the savior. What a lot of pressure! I can't imagine staring at my newborn thinking "you're going to die for me, you are going to save the entire world" Wow. I could go line by line marveling and thinking about what Mary must have thought when she found out that she had been chosen to be Jesus' "Mom" or the moment that she looked at him and knew that he was never truly hers to have.

Truly, my words aren't enough.. I stare at my children and wonder what they'll be like when they grow up. I've tried to raise them in a way that is pleasing to God, and I hope that they grow up to love the Lord, love people, and so much more. BUT to raise a child knowing he is God is a whole other ballgame.

Conversely, I LOVE my children. Just that sentence doesn't do justice to the way that I feel for them. I would gladly lay down my life for them, but this song really opens my eyes to the fact that my God allowed his own son to die for us. Again. Wow. To let one of my boys die for me, no. stinking. way. I don't think you can truly understand what God did for us; you just can't fully wrap your mind around it, until you have your own children. The love you have for your children is totally different than any other love out there.

Speechless. 

Love. This. Song.