New ground

****NOTE: long, very long, no pictures post*****

I wish I could say this is an upbeat, funny, post - but really it is a "this sucks/I hate that Dylan is growing up" kind of post :(

As I've said  before, I am struggling with D turning 5. 5 is BIG. Kindergarten, a whole hand old, and SO much more grown up, and independent. We've been getting an unusual amount of attitude from our generally laid back little man. I know it's normal, but we just aren't used to it. (And I know this is just the beginning). With him being our first child its just so weird to know that you are embarking on very very new ground in which you have no previous experience. Dustin and I are really good at completely dependent, generally compliant, but attitude...WHOA! What do I do with that??? The first time he made himself throw up from being forced to eat something he didn't want to my first reaction was to rub his nose in it, afterall, the only thing I'd ever raised was a dog and with dogs you show them what you're mad about and then yell...DON'T CALL CPS...I DIDN'T rub my child's nose in vomit!!! However, as a parent when you know you are on something brand new you question yourself! "Am I doing this right??" and usually you have all of 5 seconds to figure it out!

Anyway.......yesterday I picked up D from school and as I was catching up with his teacher he came up to me several times in a short amount of time, almost frantic about leaving. "COME ON MOM!!" He urgently insisted we needed to leave! So, literally mid-conversation we bolted *WEIRD* So while he practically ran out of the building I tried to slow him down and out came the attitude. Even racing didn't snap him out it, which has always worked before! So we get in the car and he proceeds to get annoyed with the seat belt - again, *WEIRD*. So I try to help and he gets snappy with me *what is with my child??* I threaten time-out when we get home, but he still doesn't want me to help. Finally...
     - I ask "Dylan, is something wrong?"
     - Dylan, "No!"
     - Me "Are you sure? Did something happen at school today?"
     - Dylan - "I'M JUST SO TIRED OF "F" (omitted name), HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE AND KEEPS HITTING ME!!!!!" (all-the-while he is now crying) 

     - Me - stunned.....

I proceeded to apologize for his bad day, get out and climb in the backseat to comfort him - really I wanted to cry and go beat up little 5 year old "F." Now, this is NOT the first I've heard of this particular little darling, almost every day there is mention of him being mean to someone...and I know other Mom's have made mention of him...but...


New Ground. Heart. Breaking. Ground.


I'm a teacher, I get paid to deal with little terds all. day. long. (sounds worse than it really is, I love my job) However, I've dealt with my fair share of kids picking on one-another and all out bullying, but none of them were mine. 


We talked about it in the parking lot of the school, I shed a secret tear once seated comfortably out of sight, go to pick up Miles, and then I call another parent in his class (also a teacher at my school) to get a second opinion. 


New Ground


Short story long...we talk about it as a family and I call his teacher just to make her aware, but really...it has set in that we are on new ground. Brand. New. REEEAAALLLY shaky Ground. UGH!


Really, this is a blog for me, to vent, and express how incredibly hard it is to see and watch your child hurt. To teach him everything you know, while not knowing if you're teaching him the right thing. Where is the child raising manual?? We've done some role-playing, made his teachers aware, and today he apparently stood up to his classmate (he was kind of mean about it, but its a start), Dylan is a bit of a push-over and can be really sensitive, but where do you draw the line between telling the teacher what is going on and taking up for yourself?? Again...They forgot to give me my child raising manual at the hospital...


Did I mention he's FIVE! OHEMGEE...he isn't even in Kindergarten and I already feel overwhelmed. So, to those of you with kids enjoy those oh so very sweet years in which you can guard them from meanness. At some point, and in a split second, a very mundane Tuesday afternoon, you WILL find yourself on very very new and unstable ground. 

If you're still reading, thanks. I needed that :)